13 Mar

I have written this post and am linking it up with the very lovely Typecast  and her #dosomethingyummy writing prompts.  This is not so much a story of survival, but it is my take on the prompt.

Yummy Mummy Week is taking place NOW!! So please do take a look here to find out more information on how you can get involved.  CLIC Sargent are an amazing charity who do some fantastic work, please take a look and see how you can get involved.

So here is my post.  I guess it is a bit of a follow on from my previous post 10 Years Passes By So Fast, (although it wasn’t intended to be, it just kinda happened!)


Sometimes in life, things happen and we don’t understand why, I will never understand why you were taken away, from your family, from your friends and from me.  It is so cruel and hurts so much I can’t describe it in words. When they said you had cancer, I could never have imagined the impact those words would have on my life.  I was only eighteen and we had so much planned, so much to look forward too.  The next thing I knew, you were gone.

Today you would have been 31, I would have spent the day calling you an old man because you were getting on a bit.  We would have celebrated, I might have even cooked you a meal; after all it has been 10 years and YES in that time I have learnt to cook a little bit better, and I would even go so far as to say I am quite good at it!  We would have celebrated, laughed, and had a fantastic day.  Instead all I have are my memories.  Because your not here.

I was near to the crematorium the other day; we were out with the kids and running late (as always).  I felt so guilty that I couldn’t stop by and leave you flowers that morning, living so far away it is not often I get the chance too.  As I drove on telling myself off that I had not planned properly and allowed more time, your song came on the radio.  Was it a sign, or just a coincidence?? I like to think it is a sign that you understood I couldn’t come to say Hello that morning.  But I guess I will never know.

My life has moved on in ways I could have never imagined, 10 years ago I was a wreck.  I had no idea how to pick up the pieces and move on.  I had no idea how to even begin to carry on my life without you.  But somehow I did, and here I am now, ten years later with a beautiful family and a wonderful husband.

I still think of you often, and so many things trigger memories of the times we had together.  You are always in my heart and your strength and courage will always be an inspiration to me throughout my life.



4 Responses to “#dosomethingyummy”

  1. Martin March 13, 2012 at 9:44 am #

    of ben had not gone u would not have paul molly and alfie and although it is unfair i think u came out a winner on this one much as i too was devastated and miss ben i think life has been good to you

    so smile and thank god or whoever for looking after you – i know ben is happy for u

  2. Nicola Cooper-Abbs March 14, 2012 at 4:54 pm #

    That’s beautofully written, thankyou so much for sharing and for being part of #dosomethingyummy

  3. iamtypecast March 18, 2012 at 9:19 pm #

    Beautifully melancholy but in a good way. Much love and thanks for linking up xx

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