I blogged last year about weight loss. I started listening to Thinking Slimmer, so far it has been a stop start journey for me. I don’t know why but I seem to have been giving up as soon as I was getting anywhere. Recently I feel I have turned a corner. For so long now, I have been trapped in such a negative cycle, this spirals into all parts of life, home, work, kids. I get up, usually feeling shattered and yuck after not much sleep, I have some breakfast with the kids, get dressed, choosing from the only three outfits that actually still fit. I don’t even bother to open the wardrobe anymore because it is too depressing. I then spend the day working and running around after the kids whilst desperately trying to keep on top of the housework and washing (I never actually manage this very well). All the time I feel awful, fat and frumpy and I feel like all I do is moan about it, but when it comes to doing anything about it, I always fail and then feel even worse about myself.
I recently joined my local gym and I am enjoying exercising for the first time in my life. This morning I have been to have my fitness programme set up, the last few weeks I have been doing my own thing to get used to going, but as of now I have a proper fitness programme, to help me not only loose weight, but to train for the Race for Life. I am under no illusion that I probably won’t be able to run the whole 5 k race….BUT I am going to try.
Today I worked, I worked hard, and boy I know I am going to be so stiff tomorrow. But I feel great. For the first time in a long time, I feel just a little bit like me. Yes I am over weight and I don’t feel one bit attractive right now, but I am doing something about it. I am setting myself weekly goals with my Meal Planning Monday posts and aiming to be in the gym a minimum of three times a week. When I joined I was so embarrassed, convinced that people were laughing at me for being in there. The more I go the more confident I am getting, the instructor today was impressed with how much running I was able to do so soon after joining the gym and even commented on how motivated, determined and focussed I was on what I want to achieve – her words not mine!
This is not just about weight loss for me, it is about making positive changes in my life and getting my confidence back. Since listening to my Slimpod I am noticing changes in what I am eating, I am generally eating much healthier than I have been in a long time but more importantly, I stop when I am full, I can’t remember the last time I felt uncomfortable after eating a meal, I feel full and satisfied not stuffed and uncomfortable. My motivation to exercise has quite simply come out of nowhere, I can’t explain it but I am loving my time in the gym. The fact I am going is amazing but to actually be enjoying it is complete and utter madness!
For a long time I felt like the Slimpod wasn’t working, but I was spending so much time obsessing about how much weight I hadn’t lost and focussing on what I felt I wasn’t achieving that I was not giving it a chance to work for me. This in itself was making me feel worse and keeping me in my negative cycle. Having a positive mindset is key, and listening to my Slimpod is helping me to achieve this, looking every day for the positive changes you notice in yourself is such a boost that you can’t help but feel good. I am sure that I am going to have times when I am not feeling so positive, loosing weight is not easy, but I am motivated, and focussed – even the fitness instructor said it, so it must be true!! I can and will do this, I want to feel like me again, I know I am in there somewhere, I just need to find me!